Check me out at
http://SkyMurphyBlog.blogspot.com
Thanks!
Sky Murphy
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Getting back to Home Base
I'm back after a long absence while I was moving my home from
Phoenix, AZ to San Luis Obispo, CA. It was far from a seamless
with lots of bumps and pots holes that eventually led to this
beautiful home that I'm writing from now. In the whole process I
experienced a lot of yearning, yearning for it to be done & over with.
Finding "The One" isn't instant happiness all the time, as some
might expect, it's the answer to a question. People spend hours,
days, weeks, months, yearning to find "The One" only to reject
anyone who isn't pure happiness 100% of the time. Sorry kids
all your unhappiness doesn't disappear in a magic moment.
Yearning and wanting can be one of the toughest parts of dating and
relationships. There's a tendency to get caught up in "I deserve to
have...." or "Why can't they just...." where it's easier feel justified than
to face reality. When people are not able to face reality they often
either give up too soon or punish their partner.
The reality of your partner needs to be recognized, what they want,
how they're motivated, and what is normal for them. Punishing your
partner for not living up to your expectations can hurt you as much
or more than it might hurt them. The negative self talk will infiltrate
your thoughts and can create a self constructed tailspin.
Partnerships are the intersection of two lives, neither life should be
destroyed in the process, yet a new union must be created. Human
evolution is centered around patterns, repetition, and rhythm. It
takes many weeks and months to establish the baseline of intimacy
that many think they "deserve" in the first two or three weeks.
When the bumps and pot holes hit your partnership, come back to
what you are happy about or appreciate in your partner first. Make
it clear what you value about your union in a positive way. Let the
yearning take a back seat to what you really agree on as partners.
Have Fun & Be Awesome
Sky Murphy
Phoenix, AZ to San Luis Obispo, CA. It was far from a seamless
with lots of bumps and pots holes that eventually led to this
beautiful home that I'm writing from now. In the whole process I
experienced a lot of yearning, yearning for it to be done & over with.
Finding "The One" isn't instant happiness all the time, as some
might expect, it's the answer to a question. People spend hours,
days, weeks, months, yearning to find "The One" only to reject
anyone who isn't pure happiness 100% of the time. Sorry kids
all your unhappiness doesn't disappear in a magic moment.
Yearning and wanting can be one of the toughest parts of dating and
relationships. There's a tendency to get caught up in "I deserve to
have...." or "Why can't they just...." where it's easier feel justified than
to face reality. When people are not able to face reality they often
either give up too soon or punish their partner.
The reality of your partner needs to be recognized, what they want,
how they're motivated, and what is normal for them. Punishing your
partner for not living up to your expectations can hurt you as much
or more than it might hurt them. The negative self talk will infiltrate
your thoughts and can create a self constructed tailspin.
Partnerships are the intersection of two lives, neither life should be
destroyed in the process, yet a new union must be created. Human
evolution is centered around patterns, repetition, and rhythm. It
takes many weeks and months to establish the baseline of intimacy
that many think they "deserve" in the first two or three weeks.
When the bumps and pot holes hit your partnership, come back to
what you are happy about or appreciate in your partner first. Make
it clear what you value about your union in a positive way. Let the
yearning take a back seat to what you really agree on as partners.
Have Fun & Be Awesome
Sky Murphy
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